The Met Gala is fast approaching. A mainstay on the calendars of celebrities, fashion\’s elite and New York high society, the extravagant event, officially called the Costume Institute Benefit, takes place at the Metropolitan Museum of Art on the first Monday in May, with guests dressed in keeping with the gala\’s theme (or ignoring it altogether).

This year, the dress code is \”In honor of Karl,\” a tribute to Karl Lagerfeld, the late fashion juggernaut with an indelible influence but controversial reputation. All eyes will be on the red carpet to see how guests interpret Lagerfeld\’s complicated legacy — as well as if his beloved tortie cat, Choupette, will strut up the museum\’s front steps.

Lagerfeld with his cat and muse, Choupette, at an exhibition dedicated to his feline companion in 2015. Credit: Franziska Krug/German Select/Getty Images

Co-chairing this year\’s event are actors Michaela Coel and Penélope Cruz, tennis giant Roger Federer, singer Dua Lipa and, as always, Vogue\’s editorial director Anna Wintour.

Lagerfeld\’s career will also be explored in the Costume Institute\’s spring exhibition \”Karl Lagerfeld: A Line of Beauty,\” opening to the public the following day.

Look of the Week: Apple Martin looks every bit the \’Chanel girl\’

A long legacy

Serving as creative director of the storied French fashion house Chanel from 1983 until his death in February 2019, as well as the luxury Italian house Fendi from 1965, the German fashion designer loomed tall within the fashion industry. He left his mark on Chloé, Patou and Balmain as well over the course of his long career, working with each fashion house in different capacities (in addition to his own eponymous label), and has influenced countless others.

His final Fendi collection was shown at Milan Fashion Week just days after his death, with models including Gigi and Bella Hadid and Kaia Gerber walking the runway. The following month, Cruz made her runway debut at his final Chanel presentation.

Vintage throwbacks to Lagerfeld collections are likely to reign on Monday — as well as nods to his imitable suited-and-gloved personal style. Lagerfeld\’s collections were not known for any one hallmark — besides luxury; he was revered for the transformative power he had at each house with which he worked. His oft-repeated yet unsavory quote on taking over the House of Chanel was: \”Chanel is an institution, and you have to treat an institution like a wh**e — and then you get something out of her.\”

In his orbit were some of fashion and entertainment\’s biggest names, including Kate Moss, Linda Evangelista, Claudia Schiffer, Pharrell, Keira Knightley, Naomi Campbell and Cara Delevingne, some of whom will undoubtedly walk the red carpet this year. Younger models who have carried the Chanel torch, passed down from their mothers, include Gerber (daughter to Cindy Crawford) and Lily Rose-Depp (daughter to Vanessa Paradis).

A controversial figure

Lagerfeld\’s influence and star-making power was undeniable, but over the years he made a number of disparaging statements that upheld thin ideals or cast criticism on the #MeToo movement at a time when the fashion industry was facing a reckoning. Whether or not all Met Gala guests will emphasize Lagerfeld in a positive light, or choose to make more subversive statements, remains to be seen. Last year, as many showed up in opulent garments fit for the Gilded Era for the theme \”Gilded Glamour\” some celebrities, including Gabrielle Union and Riz Ahmed, opted to honor communities who were marginalized during the period of runaway American wealth.

Last October, actor and body positivity advocate Jameela Jamil called the theme \”a disappointing double standard\” in the industry, pointing out on social media that Lagerfeld\’s comments were recent. \”It\’s really weird when someone gets a completely free pass and I don\’t want to be a part of that.\”

The gala\’s themes are chosen based on the Costume Institute\’s new exhibitions. While past themes have explored highly conceptual or region-specific motifs, from \”Heavenly Bodies: Fashion and the Catholic Imagination\” in 2018 to \”China: Through the Looking Glass\” in 2015, individual designers have been honored, too. They\’ve included Rei Kawakubo, who is still living, in 2017, and Alexander McQueen, the year after his death, in 2011.

\’Like a supermodel\’: Eileen Gu\’s Met Gala appearance lights up Chinese social media

\”A Line of Beauty\” arrives more than two decades after a contentious failed collaboration between Lagerfeld and the museum, in which the designer\’s retrospective of Coco Chanel was shelved — officially due to the recent death of the chief curator, though a New York Times report alluded to creative conflicts with Lagerfeld as well.

\”Karl Lagerfeld: A Line of Beauty,\” will run at the Met\’s Costume Institute through mid-July.

Adopting a Digital Code of Conduct

Even though there are no specific guidelines in Scripture about how to handle the area of social media, there are many biblical principles that give us a clear picture of how we can honor our King in our digital lives.  Personally, I’ve adopted a “digital code of conduct” — a predetermined list of principles that help to govern my decisions and actions on social media.  Even when I encounter “new and trendy” digital fads, these principles help protect me from being swept away by the culture’s relentless pressure to let down my guard in this ever-present area of life.

In this article, I’d like to share some of these principles with you, encourage you to develop your own “digital code of conduct,” and determine, by God’s grace, to honor Him in everything you may choose to tweet, text, post, pin, or read online. 

Principle #1
Choose Your Words Wisely

Written communication used to take a bit of time, thought, and effort.  Stationery had to be purchased, and a letter had to be written by hand, placed into an envelope, addressed, stamped, taken to the mailbox, and the little red flag raised.  There was time to actually stop and think about what was being communicated through the correspondence — even to scrap a letter, throw it in the trash, and start over if the writer didn’t feel it was quite right.

But not anymore.  We’ve all become used to the instant gratification of texting, tweeting, and posting our thoughts and ideas for all the world to see — at a moment’s notice.  As quickly as a thought enters our mind, we can make it public.  We now have the “luxury” of never having to deliberate over our written words.  There is a certain convenience of not having to buy stationery and stamps.  But the “instant communication” era in which we live also presents some dangerous pitfalls.  It’s all too easy to send meaningless words out into cyberspace without pausing to think about whether they are truly God-honoring.  When we don’t take the time to weigh our words, it’s all too easy to spew out emotional tirades, criticism toward others, or idle banter that glorifies pop-culture and worldliness. 

Proverbs 29:20 gives us a serious warning about being careless and unguarded with our words:  “Do you see a man hasty in his words?  There is more hope for a fool than for him.”  And Jesus reminds us of this principle again in Matthew 12:36: “…every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment” (KJV).  Those are sobering verses to consider in light of how thoughtlessly we often treat our tweets, texts, and posts!  If we want to honor God in our digital communication, the first step is to learn how to weigh our words in light of eternity.  

Though Facebook is not wrong in itself, I believe we also need to face the fact that most of what takes place on social media has no eternal value, and much of it is downright dishonoring to God and others.  And sadly, we as women are often at the forefront of this unhealthy online communication.

In 1 Timothy 5:13, Paul warns against the ungodly behavior of certain women in the church:  

“…they learn to be idle, wandering about from house to house, and not only idle but also gossips and busybodies, saying things which they ought not.”  Now let’s imagine this verse with a slightly modern twist: “…they learn to be idle, wandering about from Facebook page to Facebook page, being gossips and busybodies, posting things which they ought not.”  

In 2 Timothy 2:16, Paul commands, “…shun profane and idle babblings, for they will increase to more ungodliness.”  The term “idle babbling” here means “empty discussion, discussion of vain and useless matters.”  What a perfect description of much of our online communication!  Bantering about frivolous topics and posting about pop-culture trivia may seem harmless, but we must remember that one day we must give an account for every single idle word we speak and post.

So what kind of words should we be posting on social media?

In Romans 14:19 Paul exhorts us, “Let us pursue the things which make for peace and the things by which one may edify another.”  The word “edify” here means “to build someone up in their faith, to promote another person’s growth in Christian wisdom, piety, holiness, and so on.”  And in Ephesians 4:29 he tells us, “Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers.”

We can only glorify God with our words when we use them to edify other people rather than to simply fill space, make ourselves heard, or engage in gossip and worldly banter.  Proverbs 25:11 says, “A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver.”  Just as the wrong words can pull both us and our readers away from God, the right words can draw us closer to Him.

A great way to evaluate whether your texts, tweets, and posts are truly edifying and “fitting” is to hold them up against Paul’s checklist in Philippians 4:8: “…whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy — meditate on these things.”

Before you push “send” on your next tweet, text, or post, pause and take the time to see if they truly align with the list above.  Do your words reflect the nature and heart of God?  Do they matter in light of eternity?  Are they honoring to your King and to other people?  If not, be willing to delete them.  If you don’t have something edifying to post, it’s better not to post anything at all.

Remember, when your desire is to glorify God and edify others with your words, your digital words can become refreshing and inspiring — like apples of gold in settings of silver!

Principle #2
Choose Discretion

One of the biggest trends among Christians on social media today is the idea of being “real and authentic” with what we post and share online.  The prevalent notion is that it is healthy and good to share our struggles in a public forum, and even that it is hypocritical not to do so.   As a result, countless Christian women use their Facebook page as a public dumping ground for their emotional battles, freely venting their frustrations about their husbands, family members, co-workers, and friends.  The readers of these posts often respond with encouraging comments like, “Thank you for your honesty!” and “Your authenticity is refreshing!”

But while authenticity is important among Christians, there is nothing God-honoring about publicly venting our frustrations to the world.  In fact, the Bible says the opposite:  “A fool vents all his feelings, but a wise man holds them back” (Prov. 29:11). 

Clearly, there is a right way and a wrong way to be “authentic and real” with our Christian brothers and sisters.  Privately sharing our struggles with a trusted godly mentor, spiritual authority, or prayer partner can be healthy and good.  But publicly venting them, without any guardedness or discretion, is not.  

Even if we are not spewing out our negative emotions online, many of us have developed the habit of sharing too much information online; making things public that should be kept private —  like Kate, who blogged about her desires for a certain kind of man.  It’s all too easy to use Instagram, Pinterest, and personal blogs as a place to openly display our intimate dreams for the world to see (i.e. “Here is the wedding dress I want to wear someday!” or “Here is how I’m going to decorate my child’s bedroom once I get married and have kids!”).  In our “hold-nothing-back” digital world, we’ve lost the art of guarding the sacred and showcasing godly discretion.

Proverbs 11:22 paints a jarring picture of a woman who shares everything with everyone: “As a ring of gold in a swine\’s snout, so is a lovely woman who lacks discretion.”  In contrast, Mary the mother of Jesus shows us a refreshing picture of feminine guardedness:  “But Mary kept all these things and pondered them in her heart”  (Lk. 2:19).  If anyone had a reason to rush around the countryside and spill her guts to all her friends, it was Mary.  She’d seen and experienced many amazing and noteworthy things.  But she chose to guard the sacred things in her life, rather than openly broadcast them.  Perhaps her discretion was one of the reasons she found favor with God and was chosen for such a task as bringing up the Savior of the world!

The bottom line is this.  If you are looking for a place to “pour out your heart,” don’t turn to social media or blogging as your outlet.  Your first turn should be to God, as it says in Psalm 62:8:  “Pour out your heart before Him; God is a refuge for us.”  And then, if additional support is needed, find trusted godly people you can meet with privately to help you process your struggles.  Venting your emotions online is like turning your diary inside out for the world to see.  Remember that it is not just “authenticity” that God praises, but also discretion.  The two cannot be separated — especially in our digital communication.

Principle #3
Showcase Christ, Not Self

Between selfies, Instagram feeds, and Facebook profiles, it’s all too easy to allow social media to become nothing more than a digital “shrine” to ourselves. Our culture constantly pushes us to showcase more of “ME, ME, ME!”  We are encouraged to post all our likes and dislikes, share endless photos of ourselves, and flaunt the trivia of our lives to the world.

Self-glorification may be popular on social media, but it is not what we are called to as Christians.  In Luke 14:11 Jesus tells us, “…whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted.”

Let’s learn from the amazing example of John the Baptist who said, “He must increase, but I must decrease.”  John’s greatest delight did not come from drawing people’s attention to himself, but from pointing people’s gaze toward Christ.  (See John 3:29.)

In light of the biblical call toward humility and self-denial, many of us need to completely shift our approach to social media.  If you have been using digital communication to draw attention to yourself, flirt with guys, or become more popular, then you have not been using it in an honorable way.  It’s not necessarily wrong to share personal stories, life tidbits, or photos of yourself from time to time.  But your motive with everything you post or share should be to point others’ gaze toward Christ and not yourself.  Ask God to show you how you can “decrease” so that He can “increase” in your digital communication.  Even if you are not specifically posting something about the Bible or about Christ, your desire should always be for people to see less of you and more of Him.

Principle #4
Guard Your Eyes

I don’t personally spend much time on Pinterest or Instagram.  But recently I saw a Pinterest board come through an email that looked interesting:  “Organization Tips for Busy Moms.”  Since I’m always collecting ideas for how to help my family life run more smoothly with six kids, I thought I’d click on the board and scan it for helpful tips.  But the moment that I entered Pinterest, I was freshly reminded why I have chosen not to spend much time there.  Before I could even get to the board about organization, my eyes were assaulted by all sorts of other unrelated images — sensual photos, worldly icons, celebrity gossip, and pop-culture fads immediately vied for my attention and focus.  If I hadn’t made a swift, purposeful effort to get off the page and click immediately to the board that I was looking for, I would have quickly been swallowed up in a morass of worldly distraction and pop-culture enticements.  Psalm 119:37 says, “Turn away my eyes from looking at worthless things, and revive me in Your way.”  On social media — or anywhere on the internet, for that matter — we must be extra vigilant about turning our eyes away from the “worthless things” that dominate those platforms — sensuality, crudeness, perversity, worldly enticements, celebrity worship, etc. When we love the world and the things that are in the world, we cannot love God with our whole heart. (See 1 John 2:15.)  When we allow worldly things to entice and distract us, we become consumed by “the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life” as it says in 1 John 2:16, and it is impossible to keep our eyes fixed upon Christ with an undivided heart.

If you find certain areas of social media are constantly tempting you to dwell on worthless things and pull you into worldly distractions, then make a purposeful effort to avoid those pages.  And when you do encounter something sensual, crude, or worldly online — don’t even take a moment to ponder whether it’s worth taking a second look.  Practice immediately “turning your eyes away” — whether that means clicking off the page or closing your computer altogether.  Remember that the health of your soul and your relationship with Christ are not worth jeopardizing for anything — especially things as worthless and temporal as the lust of the flesh and the lust of the eyes.

Principle #5
Put Social Media in its Place
(i.e. don\’t let it consume you!)

Even if we learn how to conduct ourselves in a godly way on social media, we are still in danger of letting it consume too much of our time and focus if we aren’t purposeful about putting it in its place.  Many of us don’t feel we have enough time for prayer and studying God’s Word, but if we were to add up the number of hours each week that we spend on social media, we may be surprised to find that we have a lot more free time than we think.  Unless we put clear boundaries around the time we spend texting, tweeting, and posting, it will quickly choke out the most important things in life — like prayer, seeking God, and showing love to those around us.

Ephesians 2:10 tells us that we have been created for “good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them.”  Sadly, too many of us are missing out on the real-life adventure God has planned for us each day because we are wasting our time in a virtual reality instead.  It’s high time that we learn to get our phones out of our faces so that we can truly see the needs of those God has placed right in front of us!

I encourage you to prayerfully consider how much time you should be devoting to social media, and to put clear boundaries around your digital life.  Recruit an accountability partner if needed, or post reminders on your computer and your desk.  Be sure that you are not making more time for online communication than for the most important things in life — like your relationship with Christ and those He has called you to serve.

When you spend time on social media, set a timer or alarm so that you don’t linger there longer than you should.  And when you are engaged in a more important activity — like prayer, Bible study, or serving others — don’t let those dings on your phone or computer distract you!  Instead, close your computer, silence your phone, and ask God for the grace to “be all there” as Jim Elliot said.

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If you willingly yield this area of your life to your worthy King, He will gently guide your every step — and every post.  He has given everything for us.  Are we willing to give everything — including our digital lives — to Him in return?   Though Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter may seem like a crucial part of life, we must remember that none of them will last for eternity.  When we leave this world, may we not look back and see a life that was wasted on temporary digital distractions.  By God’s grace, may we build our lives around things that truly matter in light of who He is.

\”Comrades in this solemn fight … let us settle it as something that cannot be shaken: we are here to live holy, loving, lowly lives.  We cannot do this unless we walk very, very close to our Lord Jesus. Anything that would hinder us from the closest walk that is possible to us till we see Him face to face, is not for us.\”
– Amy Carmichael